I write this as I sit here with my heart beating out of my chest. My wedding day is tomorrow. Am I nervous? Nope.
The reason my heart is racing is because I’m on the verge of screaming. To my younger self’s dismay, I have really not enjoyed the whole wedding planning process. As it turns out, I happen to have zero event planning experience. And now I am planning an open bar, DJ-spinning party for over 100 people. Here’s the kicker: I had the option to have a wedding planner… but turned it down because I thought that with the help of Pinterest, and a carefree attitude, I could pull this together myself without any stress. Man, was I wrong!
I came into this with an open mind and a heart full of joy. Oh my God, I’m actually getting married. I actually found that person that gives me that feeling that everyone talks about. I get it. I totally understand. And then the questions started pouring in. The specific details that hadn’t even crossed my mind with regards to planning a wedding. All I wanted was a simple day, full of love. I imagined a backyard wedding, everyone barefoot, laughing and celebrating. Then I remembered I live in Vancouver. So the ideas started changing. My vision of simplicity turned into excel spreadsheets, check lists, follow up emails and phone calls. Now as the day approaches, I’m left with absolutely zero energy to want to talk about the details. All I can seem to focus on is how excited I am for the day to come so I can, not only marry the man I love so dearly, but finally stop giving people recaps of what’s planned so far.
I have noticed that as soon as that ring got my finger, the first thing people would ask me about is how the wedding planning is going. Have we picked a date? Where is the location? Is it a big wedding or a small wedding? Do I need any help? Because even though I haven’t spoken with this person in a year and a half, as soon as they get notice of my engagement, they’re suddenly keen to return back into my life and offer help.
When I admit that I am, in fact, a little stressed, the common response is, “Don’t you worry, you and your man are perfect together.” To which I respond (in my head, of course), “I fucking know that. That’s why I’m marrying him. He’s perfect for me.” If I was stressed about marrying the wrong person, then I wouldn’t be marrying him. Simple.
It would be nice if instead of asking me about centrepieces, or music selections, or what my dress looks like, someone actually asked me how my relationship has been since getting engaged. How about something of substance and permanence for a change? Flowers wilt, music trends change, dresses go out of style, but this stressful time in my life could really take a toll on my relationship.
I know that everyone means well and they are being supportive in the best way they know how. I know that everyone is excited. And I know that we live in a society that, not only jacks up the cost of every single service as soon as you utter the word “wedding”, but also glamourizes the whole bridal experience. I just wish everyone would understand that sometimes, it’s nicer to just ask how the bride is feeling about this big change in her life, instead of interrogating her with questions about trivial things like colour schemes or how she’s going to wear her hair.
If I could offer any advice to the future brides who are not eloping it would be this: If you can afford it, hire a wedding planner. This is what they are trained to do. Event planning is not easy. At the very least find yourself a day-of coordinator. My day-of coordinator has been my saving grace. She has helped me stay focused and flat out told me when it’s time for me to let go of the reigns. I can go to bed tonight relaxed knowing that tomorrow will go as smoothly as possible thanks to all of her help.
Wish me luck, tomorrow I become a Mrs! #weddingbliss